You are the world expert in you.
Better than anyone, you know when you are not quite yourself. You know when something is off – when you are not quite functioning at 100 per cent. You know when you are feeling low, disengaged, stressed, irritable, frustrated, tired, snappy, over it or a tightly wound ball of all of the above.
In the rush to get things done and fulfil everyone’s expectations, we can easily forget to make an appointment with this amazing world expert. When we don’t check in, our own needs can easily get shoved to a forgotten corner.
Self-compassion is the practise of reaching in for support and it’s one of the most powerful tools each of us has when we are not feeling quite ourselves. It involves actively offering genuine kindness and care to our own mind and body. The fundamental self-compassion question is “what do I need right now?”
It is a question not asked nearly enough. When we do consult our personal world expert, we generally come with a prescription which is bang-on for our needs.
Perhaps you need to stretch. Perhaps you need to rest. Perhaps you need to have a laugh with that good friend you haven’t spoken to in ages. Maybe you need to cut that to-do list down to something which isn’t wildly in excess of your current capacity.
You can have a consultation anytime. Stop. Take a slow inhale and a slow exhale. Ask yourself “what do I need right now?”
Each of us has the answers. We know what we are experiencing. We know all the stuff that is causing us stress, frustration and pain. We also know what nourishes, enlivens and inspires us.
Of course, self-compassion doesn’t stop at the consultation phase. It is also vital that we give ourselves permission to take those actions that we know will be good for us.
We must never feel guilty about prioritising our own needs and taking actions that will restore and replenish us. Constant doing will be our undoing! Rest is necessary for everything else to function.
Remember, just because something is fun or joyous does not make it trivial, unimportant or a waste of time. Our passions protect us, uplift us and enable us to turn up to the rest of life in ways that would not be possible without them.
Practised regularly, self-compassion allows us to have a life that is more than just manageable. It keeps us healthy, allows us to do what’s meaningful and supports us to engage fully with the best bits of life.
Reaching in for support doesn’t stop us from reaching out for support as well. Sometimes when we ask ourselves what we need, the answer may be someone else to help guide and support us. Setting up a chat between an expert in mental health and the world expert in you is a wonderfully productive and self-compassionate action.
Keep asking the question. What do I need right now? Trust your gut, your intuition and that wonderful world expert. They want the best for you.