I am desperately clutching on to the world’s heaviest washing machine. It was built in a time when things were made to last (but sadly before they had thought of things like integrated handles). I am about midway up the sixth flight of stairs. I am on the lower side. Clutching on to the upper side is my girlfriend (now wife). I lock eyes with her. Psychically we have a conversation which goes like this:
Me: “I think I am about to drop this thing.”
Her: “Don’t you dare drop this thing.”
Me: “If I drop this thing, gravity will cause it to splatter me all over the staircase, which means I won’t be in any state to drive the ute back to the ute hire place and you don’t drive manual which means we will definitely be hit up for some big late return fee.”
Her: “If we drop this thing, I am going to have to clean up all the blood from the communal staircase, which I really don’t have the energy for right now. Then you will be all dead and I will have to live in this apartment all on my own and feel tremendously sad every time I walk past the set-in blood stain on the stairs.”
In this most intense of moments, we have a self-care epiphany.
Both: “Next time we are definitely getting removalists.”
Thankfully, on that day we miraculously managed to get the washing machine to the top of the staircase without anyone dying, any blood stains on the communal staircase or any late return fees for the ute.
I have since realised that this is how many of us live our lives – like Sisyphus trying to manoeuvre an old clunker of a washing machine up a staircase, we are completely overburdened, desperately trying to hold on and feeling like one little slip could leave us flattened.
We live in a burnout culture. The pressure and the pace of life has been ramped up to a point where what is regarded as normal is a long way from what is healthy or sustainable. Impossible expectations create lives of brutal busyness. Expecting ourselves to be able to do it all and do it well, we walk a fine line with exhaustion. If we are not exhausted, we feel guilty that we are not doing enough.
Many of us will tick off milestones without ever checking in on our own needs. After years of pushing and pushing and pushing, our prize can be something rather crappy like a stomach ulcer, a heart attack or a mental health condition. We shouldn’t wait until this point before thinking seriously about our own self-care.
While there are many ways we can practise self-care, the best way to do it is proactively. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, now’s the time to break from unhealthy norms and become a self-care rebel.
Your self-care rebellion can start right now. Simply select your favourite suggestions from the list below and begin making the small, simple changes that can help protect, restore and revitalise you.
1. Check in with yourself
Give yourself permission to ask “what is it I really need right now?” Perhaps it’s a good stretch, a good rest or a good meal. Maybe it’s some time in nature or a chat with a mate. If we never ask ourselves what we need, we are destined to neglect those things which will benefit us the most.
2. Make time for what you love
When caught up in busyness, we may miss out on all the things that fill our cup. Making time for your true passion is an incredibly valuable act of self-care.
3. Leave for lunch
Rather than be chained to your desk or tied to your tools, break free for lunch. For a nature boost consider parking yourself under a tree. For a social boost invite a workmate to join you.
4. Prune your schedule
Cut back on all unnecessary travel or meetings. If feeling overburdened, discuss with your manager what is realistically achievable and what is a true priority.
5. Stop stockpiling leave
Regular breaks are incredibly important for self-care. Put in a leave request and start planning a holiday or staycation that will restore and revitalise you.
6. Minimise multi-tasking
Multi-tasking drains our brains and makes us less productive. Get rid of constant digital notifications and set aside time so you can single-task without distractions.
7. Take small breaks
Rather than plough through your working day without stopping, take regular restorative timeouts. Simple actions like taking a few deep breaths, doing a short burst of exercise or giving your eyes a moment away from screens can all be incredibly beneficial.
8. Experience precious nothing
Take time to just be. No responsibilities. No to-do list. No need to impress anyone. Whether you are floating in a bath or staring at the clouds, allow the nothingness to bring you back into your true being.
9. Consider your own needs
In the rush to be helpful, we can quickly find ourselves over-stretched. It’s important to set boundaries and consider what is healthily possible before taking on something new.
10. Ask for practical help
Rather than drown in doing, ask for a hand. Perhaps a colleague can fill in while you are over-stretched. Perhaps your teenager can arrange a lift to their soccer match so you are not spending half your Saturday trekking across town. If you are moving house, maybe you have a strong mate who can help with that big old washing machine!
It’s important to remember that self-care is never selfish. For every one of us it is vital. When we take care of ourselves we are much better able to fulfill our purpose and take care of others. Modelling good self-care also helps shift unhealthy norms, making it far easier for those around you to live lives which are less exhausting and more rewarding.