Organisations are imperfect. That’s not surprising. After all, organisations are made up of imperfect humans who have been thrown together, given matching lanyards and told to fulfill some challenging corporate mission. It’s stressful. Not everyone knows what they are doing. Some people are lazy. Some people are competent and overloaded. Some people are only brilliant at one thing, which happens to be stealing all the credit. Some people have gone down strange YouTube rabbit holes and ended up as committed flat earthers, who love to extoll their theories while you are trying to get actual work done.
These are your weird, imperfect colleagues, who you are not allowed to murder. Instead, you must do your best to get along and create a harmonious, functioning work environment whilst meeting all your KPIs.
So, how do you navigate this weird, imperfect work environment whilst keeping your own mental health intact?
1. Recognise the good
In an increasingly isolated digital world, it’s actually very healthy to be bumping around with a whole bunch of other humans. The fact that our colleagues may be different from ourselves opens us up to other worlds. We get to benefit from diverse experiences and unique perspectives. We may be able to learn from those who have been around the block, or share our knowledge with those who are just starting out. Work brings with it social connectedness, a sense of purpose and the means to fulfill life goals, all of which are incredibly valuable for our mental health. These great big benefits are however easy to overlook if we are focused on how annoying Kevin is, the state of the office kitchen and the eternal search for who left the mouldy thing in the fridge.
2. Practise basic human decency
It sounds simplistic but basic human decency goes an incredibly long way. By observing niceties, being considerate and upholding a standard where everyone is treated with dignity and respect, all of us can work to create a far more harmonious and safe work environment. Managers can play a particularly important role. Those who model civility set a standard that others rise to. Lower levels of workplace incivility have been found in workplaces where managers consistently demonstrate compassion, stay true to values and remain focused on worker needs.
Acts of incivility can have immediate and far-reaching effects. If we witness our boss perform their best Tyrannosaurus Rex impersonation whilst dressing down another employee, it’s likely that we too will feel stressed and on edge. It’s also important to recognise that what we put out into the world is often reflected back. Those who are routinely short and surly with colleagues, rarely get to glimpse the best of others.
3. Prevent small things from spiralling
Small acts of incivility can often spiral into something far bigger. Like the proverbial butterfly who flapped its wings, one ill-advised eye-roll can set off a sequence of tit-for-tat responses that ends in a nasty bullying and harassment case. If there is an issue to address, it is best that it is addressed directly, rather than fought out through covert acts of badmouthing, backbiting or white anting. To earn respect from those around us, it can be helpful to admit mistakes and apologise for times when we may have been less than our best.
Dear team,
I would like to fess up to being the owner of the mouldy lasagna in the office fridge. I had intended to eat this lasagna before I went on holidays however after indulging in Jane’s beautiful birthday cake I had already gone well over my daily carb allowance. Upon returning from my three-week break I was disturbed to find that there was a fuzzy bluey-greenish rectangle in roughly the same place as I had left my lasagna. At the time I did not want to face the reality that this was my lasagna. Shamefully, I did not act immediately to remove the lasagna. Partly, this is because I have quite a strong gag reflex and did not want to cause further disturbance by vomiting all over the kitchen floor. I am pleased to advise that I have now removed the mouldy lasagna and cleaned out the fridge. I would like to apologise for not acting sooner.
BTW if someone could please order some more Spray ‘n’ Wipe and another HAZMAT suit that would be most appreciated.
4. Take a compassion first approach
Most of us are simply trying to do our best with what we have got. At times when our resources are low, our stress can spill over and we can become reactive. When our colleagues have lapses, it is far more helpful to greet them with compassion than further reactivity and recrimination. If someone seems out of sorts, consider what sort of stressors they are under. You may even take a moment to say “I noticed you are not your usual self. You are typically very calm and the way you dealt with that malfunctioning stapler was something I have only ever seen in a Bruce Lee movie. Is everything okay?” At times, it will be important to extend the compassion inwards and remind ourselves “I am doing the best I can right now, with what I have got.”
5. Recognise values clashes
Often workplace conflict can arise because the thing that is really important to us, is not what is really important to our colleagues. When we know what people care about, we may be better able to understand their behaviours. You may be focused on trying out new and innovative things, while your colleague may be focused on making financially responsible decisions. Neither of you are terrible people, however it is understandable that you may disagree about whether to greenlight your brilliant plan to splice together a labrador with an elephant and create the ultimate family pet.
6. Resist being pulled into negativity
Because no workplace is perfect there will always be opportunities for us to be pulled into negativity. If we are reactive, we may find our mind getting hooked on every little thing that isn’t right. We may find ourselves getting frustrated and venting these frustrations in a really boring and unproductive way to colleagues, family and anyone else who will listen. For our own wellbeing, it can be far more helpful to take a mindful moment and ask: “is this something worth worrying about?”, “is this something where I need to take action or something I can let go of?”, “has this situation arisen through bad intentions, or is it someone with different values and a lot on their plate, trying to do the best they can?”. When we take a short moment to take perspective, it can often save us a lot of time feeling frustrated, wound up and angry.
7. Be part of the solution
Organisations need to look after their people. They should have in place psychosocial risk assessment and management plans, safe reporting channels, appropriate training and policies and procedures to address matters such as incivility, bullying and discrimination. All of this however only works when people make it work. Mental health is a shared responsibility. The more constructive each of us can be, the better our organisations can become.
There are certain workplaces behaviours that should never be tolerated and need to be called out. For those in senior positions it is particularly important to set the standard and cultivate a culture of care. It’s also important not to let bad workplaces practises be repeated simply because “that’s how we have always done things.”
When everyone becomes part of the solution, workplace culture can change dramatically. Your organisation will never be perfect, but it can be a wonderfully weird, imperfect place where people choose to be good to each other, support each other and do what’s right.
Special Bonus strategy – Bring your labraphant to work day
Clearly, this suggestion is for the future, but hopefully with the right budget approvals and some cutting-edge science we can make this happen. Being able to occasionally stroke the silky ears of your lovely little labraphant as you work is bound to be an incredible stress reliever!
Until then, remember it’s always okay to reach out for support. Whenever your weird imperfect workplace is getting to you, it may be helpful to chat with a trusted friend, your EAP, doctor or psychologist.
