Imagine there are two adjoining countries. One is called Stressland. The other is called Calmland. Where do you live?
Stressland is a crowded place. It is very fast-paced and filled with all sorts of terribly important things to worry about. Here you will encounter to-do lists, calorie-counts, appropriate presentation of hair, peak-hour navigation and a questioning voice which asks “will my superannuation afford me the luxury of potatoes in retirement given current inflationary trends?”
Stressland is a place where you may feel the constant need to be doing and then the need to be doing it all better and then the need to be doing it all faster, so that you can squeeze in just a little bit more until you hit that reassuring point of exhaustion where you feel almost worthy.
In Stressland you receive a lot of information and have a lot of choices. Every minor purchase will involve at least 785 options and a moral quandary about whether you are destroying the planet or abetting modern slavery. While you are grappling with this quandary you will be served 23 different targeted advertisements. Concurrently, you will find out about a war, the latest celebrity to have disgraced themselves and a new miracle remedy for an affliction you didn’t know existed.
If you are in any doubt about whether you are living in Stressland or Calmland, there is a simple way to check.
Stop.
Take a deep breath in and notice your chest. Does it feel tight? Does it feel like this deep breath is very deeply needed? Like it’s the single best breath you have had in ages?
Take a moment to scan your body. Are you holding a lot of tension in your feet, your calves, your back, your shoulders, your neck or your jaw? Have these tired, tense muscles been desperately trying to hold it all together, just like you have?
Living in Stressland has a special way of making us feeling very tense, wound up and eventually, sick. The ongoing stress can affect our brains, our hearts and other less celebrated but nonetheless vital organs. The very best way of preventing ourselves from suffering, is to relocate to Calmland.
In Calmland there is a lot less going on and the things that are going on seem far less important. In Calmland we have less to worry about, which means we have less to do, which means there’s more time to just be.
You can unclench in Calmland. During a time that you could be trimming a hedge, blowing an annoyingly loud leaf blower or performing countless other domestic duties, you are allowed to sit in a bath and read a book (and not feel at all guilty about it). While it may seem weird and foreign, it is possible.
In Calmland your brain doesn’t have to rapidly filter a relentless barrage of incoming information and perform a series of complex calculations to work out how it can please absolutely everyone. This is a beautiful gift, because it allows your magnificent mind to go off on random wanders, where it can contemplate, create and not frit away its peculiar magic on finding discount codes for online shopping items that weren’t absolutely required in the first place.
Perhaps the greatest thing about Calmland is that to get there, you don’t have to go to an international airport, endure a maddening check-in procedure and then wait around for hours, pecking at a dry, overpriced croissant. You can get there in moments for free, using a whole bunch of stuff you can easily learn on Mindarma.
If you are in need of a visit to Calmland, here are a few simple things you can try.
1. Practise mindfulness. A simple guided exercise can instantly transport you. Breathe deep, release tension and give yourself a precious moment to be still.
2. Give yourself compassion. Remind yourself that you are perfectly okay, just as you are. Prioritise what you need over your ridiculously long to-do list.
3. Slow down. Chew slower. Talk slower. Take a moment to breathe before you react. Don’t immediately say yes to every new demand on your time.
4. Stop buying in. Invest less in those things which are designed to provoke outrage, anger and fear. Avoid getting sucked into the stress of others.
5. Choose joy. Do the things you love. Frolic, swim, be silly, laugh like crazy, scratch the dog in that lovely joy-bringing bit just behind its ear.
As you spend more time in Calmland it’s likely that you will feel healthier, more positive and a lot more like your true self. You will have wild ideas, renewed enthusiasm and a jaw that is less tense.
Soon enough you will receive permanent residency in Calmland. You will realise what a ridiculous place Stressland is and wonder why you ever lived there. You will only ever visit Stressland occasionally for things like Christmas shopping, dentist appointments and the renewal of your driver’s license.
Then one beautiful day you will get citizenship of Calmland. For the occasion you probably won’t bother dressing up or worrying too much about your hair. People will just be drawn to your relaxed, grounded energy.