What would you most love to do?
Before you answer, be assured that this is not a question about what you are supposed to want to do. It is not about what is expected, sensible, economically rational, age-appropriate or officially sanctioned by the cool police.
It’s about what truly brings you joy. What makes you do a happy dance just thinking about it? What will get you giddy? What will fill you with lovely endorphins and leave a great big smile slathered across your face?
Be bold when considering this question. Maybe as a child you were highly skilled on a pool pony but had to forgo this joy when you moved to an overpriced, undersized apartment. You dream of taking your pool pony out into the wilds for some amazing whitewater action.
Sure, it sounds dangerous, but with the right supervision, training and protective gear it is potentially achievable. Are you going to ride a bucking inflatable bronco down the Nymboida River on your next holiday, or will you endure a 24-hour plane flight so you can visit a series of dreary castles?
For some reason there are precious few pool ponies spotted bouncing down the Nymboida River, yet a whole lot of people to be found wandering bored out of their skulls around the crumbling digs of long-dead rich dudes.
Joy enlivens people and the greatest joy comes when we are true to ourselves. When people talk about what they actually love doing their whole face and spirit lights up. “I rode my pool pony down the Nymboida. His name is Jeff! It was AMAZING! Would you like to see my cool bruise? It’s shaped like a wildebeest!”
Of course, joy doesn’t have to involve extreme activities. It can be whatever floats your boat… or pool pony. Maybe knitting is your thing. Perhaps it’s playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos. You may adore wandering through castles… or you might prefer jumping on the bouncy variety. Maybe you love making cakes but not actually baking them so that you can more seriously indulge in the licking of the mixing spoon. Go for it! A cake baked is a cake ruined.
Joy brings us vitality and spark. It helps us live longer and be much more alive for those years we grace the earth. It bolsters our mental health, relieves stress and helps us have better relationships. If joy was sold in little bottles by a cosmetics company, we’d be stumping up hundreds of dollars for it and smearing it across our faces for its beautifying properties.
Hopefully, by this stage of my joyful ranting you have now come up with an idea of what you would love to do. There’s now just one more very important question to consider: what’s stopping you?
Unfortunately, there are many powerful forces corralling us into doing things that are terribly joyless. The moment we come up with something that excites us, there will be people who will tell us that our brilliant plan is stupid, a waste of time or otherwise ill-advised. As soon as we start worrying about what these people will think, we can become inhibited. We play small or don’t play at all. We then end up accompanying these wet blankets around shopping malls looking for storage solutions or something equally tedious, dying a little with each flat-pack shelving unit we examine.
In this age of social comparison, another big thing that can holds us back is a worry that we’re not good enough. We harshly compare ourselves against others who have mastered something and fret about that necessary stage of learning, which is being completely terrible for a while. Remember, you don’t have to be pro to experience joy. You don’t have to be anywhere near as good as the person on the internet with 28.5 billion followers. You can be proudly amateur and dedicate all your energy to simply having fun, rather than all that tiresome filming, editing, uploading and checking in to see the number of likes.
Undoubtedly the number one thing that gets in the way of joy is being a responsible grown-up. An unfortunate side-effect of adulthood is that we develop a belief that we should prioritise the 500 other responsible grown-up things that are expected of us, before we allow ourselves any joy. The fatal flaw with this approach is that until you finally retire there will always be many more responsible grown-up things to do than time available. As such, you may be 70 before you take up hula-hooping… and who knows what condition your hips will be in at this point.
It’s time we flipped things. Fill up on joy first. Gobble up the good bits. Then, when you are up to the brim with excitement, wonder and lovely feeling endorphins, use this to help you plough through whatever boring adult tasks are strictly necessary. Embrace what you truly love and free yourself of the need to be cool, good or productive.
Anyway, that’s enough of this. I’ve got a pool pony to inflate and a spoon to lick.